The Difference Between Burnout, Vicarious Trauma, and Secondary Stress—And Why It Matters
If you’re someone who holds space for others, whether you’re a therapist, nurse, coach, teacher, or even the go-to person in your friend group, you might feel exhausted in a way that sleep doesn’t fix. I know that feeling well. It’s more than stress. It’s a kind of weariness that seeps into how you think, how you care, and how you show up.
That’s where the terms burnout, vicarious trauma, and secondary stress come in. They’re often used interchangeably, but they each describe something slightly different.
Burnout
Burnout is what happens when you’re under constant pressure with no room to breathe. It’s emotional exhaustion, cynicism, and a sense that you’re just going through the motions. I’ve been there—dreading work, snapping at loved ones, fantasizing about quitting everything and disappearing for a while.
Vicarious Trauma
This is a deeper shift. It’s not just exhaustion, it’s a gradual erosion of your worldview from repeated exposure to others’ trauma over an extended period of time (think healthcare worker or first responder). You might start feeling numb, hopeless, or like nothing is ever truly safe. You’re carrying other people's pain in your own body and it’s taking it’s toll.
Secondary Traumatic Stress
This feels more like PTSD: flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, emotional flooding. It can happen if you’ve been closely exposed to someone else’s trauma, especially if it reminds you of your own.
Why the Distinction Matters
Understanding the difference helps you know what kind of support you need. Burnout might call for more boundaries and nervous system repair. Vicarious trauma might need meaning-making and deeper therapeutic processing. Secondary stress might need EMDR or trauma therapy.
Whatever you’re going through, you’re not too much. You’re just carrying too much.
Learn more about burnout coaching and vicarious trauma therapy if this is hitting home.
Closing Thoughts
You don’t have to fake being okay just to keep functioning. I work with helpers, healers, and high-achievers who are tired of holding it all together. If you’re ready to start feeling like yourself again: more clear, more grounded, more able to breathe, visit my burnout coaching or trauma therapy page.
If you’re a leader, HR director, or part of a mission-driven organization, I also offer corporate wellness coaching as an internal coach for teams. Let’s take care of the people doing the caretaking.
